Crystal Wings

Things change, time flies. And so do I.

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Location: Sydney, New South Wales, Australia

About me. Well, I COULD lie and make things interesting, or I COULD tell you the truth and let you decide, but i'd rather you just form your own opinions.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005


My meeting with Chantelle went well today. If everything goes the way I think it's going, she'll give me a buzz tomorrow morning to tell me to come to a meeting on Friday. If i'm hired, i'll be paid 17 dollars an hour, and hopefully make enough dough per week to cover my rent. Still, with the influx of bills and such i'll be having, it's no real reson to celebrate. At least i'll have something to do. That alone is worth it, I think. Tomorrow i've got some bills to pay and more assignments to finish up. I might catch a movie as well, assuming I think it's justified. I'll probably make up my mind after I visit the hobby store and play a round of Hecatomb or two. I should probably also just not get ahead of myself. Sure I think i'm a shoo-in to get hired, but it's all for naught if the hours I get are terrible to begin with.

I'm surprisingly tired tonight. Maybe it's because I can hear the light splatter of rain on my windows. It's relaxing somehow. Soothing even. The room is warm, the bed inviting. Now all I need is someone to share it with.

The Corporation


This is the world I live in. Surrounded at all sides by unethical monsters. Unassailable giants secure in their supremacy while the land itself withers and dies.

Sound familiar?
Look outside your window.

This is the world you live in.
Wake up and smell the monoxide.

Sunday, September 25, 2005


Over the past few days my efforts to simplify matters have left me in a withdrawn state, as I systematically shy away from most of the 'extras' in my life. I have thus far been successful at removing the unnecessary bells and whistles I had grown to for granted over the last few years, albeit through a large effort of will.

The most difficult part of the process is restraining myself from finding a replacement 'fix' for all the things I now deny myself. I start fasting in a few days and they way I see it, if I can make it through the fasting month unscathed, i'll be just fine.

This coming Wednesday I hope to get myself a casual postion with Mabuzi Art, a company that operates small booths at shopping centres selling customizing t-shirts. If I can make a successful impression with Chantelle, the lady I will be meeting, I should be able to get myself a modest stream of income. In addition to the obvious benefits of having a flow of income, it will also give me something to do that will take me out of the house. Admittedly I spend most of my time indoors, and having something to pull me out of the room would a welcome change indeed.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Of mice and man-whores

It turns out that Deuce Bigalow is a bit of a letdown. Don't get me wrong, it's funny. It just wasn't as well thought out as the first. There are a few genuinely entertaining moments in the movie, and in between you just get the impression that they were trying too hard. Then again, it's Deuce Bigalow. Nothing is sacred.

After the movie I had a quick dinner, got back home and had a nice chat with Ken. Tomorrow night we're going to beat the stuffing out of a bunch of trolls in Zul'Farrak. Just the way I want to spend my Friday night. Side by side with friends against impossible odds. I can't wait.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Onward and upward

I'm stuffed. I just had extremely good food courtesy of my sister and right now, I can't help but think that life isn't all that bad. I had a great, quiet day, and i'm feeling rather satisfied with the fact that I didn't do anything all that important. Tomorrow morning i'll be catching Deuce Bigalow European Gigolo, and by the looks of it, i'll be in for quite a ride. Maybe, just maybe things are going to get better.

As Jewel put it:

And heartache came to visit me,
But I knew it wasn't ever after.

I hope she's right.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Cause and Consequence

It's been a long day, but an enjoyable one. As I write this I know i'm on for a good nights sleep, which is something I could definitely use. I woke up at around 9 this morning and rushed to get to Hornsby on time to meet Jess. I barely made it and we immediately went into the cinema to catch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, an interesting movie. Now i'll have to read the book to see how it compares. By the time I got back, it was past 5pm so I called up my groupmates and rescheduled our celebratory hot chocolate binge to this Friday. We'll see if that works out.

As of late i've been cutting out extraneous parts of my life that I don't need. For starters, the Scientologists had to go. Hah! I should never have signed up to begin with. Second was the network marketing outfit. I think they got the message pretty clear this time. It just isn't for me. Next on the list was no more late night, not if I can help it. As a result, i've spent the better part of the last 10 days or so going to bed before midnight and waking up just after 7am. Not a bad amount of hours and it's more than what I used to get. Finally, no more beating myself up. There are some things in life that happen for no reason, and I shouldn't try to fill in the blanks. Things happened the way they did because they happened the way they did. Sure there's rhyme and reason, sure there's cause and consequence, but to follow the chain of events that lead to the way things are would be folly. At this point i'd like to think that I can finally let it go.


Go home!

The only reason i'm still up blogging is because Alex is STILL playing Halo 2 on my X Box. Go home Alex, you're a nice guy, but its 1 freaking 30 am. And i'm tired, and i've got a long day tomorrow. First up is a meeting with Jess, then i'm going out with some group members to watch a movie. And I want to sleep, now now now. NOW! >_<

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Sit (On Bended Knees)

I'm fairly tired so i'll keep this post short. I have just returned from a Boyz II Men concert that I went with my sister and a few other people. It was short, but sweet. The music was loud enough to rattle your innards and while it wasn't a very energetic performance, it was very lively and I enjoyed myself.

I had also finally managed to get a hold of Nintendogs, for the DS and I am now a proud owner of a Shetland Sheepdog by the name of Noodle. That's right, Noodle. Noodle seems to be a bright pooch and although I haven't spent much time with him, he seems to enjoy exploring the confines my virtual house. Currently, Noodle comes when I call, and sits down whenever I tell him to. Not bad.

One thing I missed in favor of the Boyz II Men concert was Absinthe Night that was being hosted by Sydney Uni's Goth society. I wonder how it went.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

What the Oracle said

Will wonders never cease! Here I am trying to find a job and all of a sudden, the Church of Scientology calls me up to offer me work! At this point, I could spout some old jargle about biting the hand that's feeding me, but I say this now. NOT A CHANCE! Although I must admit at some point I was a little intrigued by the offer, which worries me to no end. After I escaped from the Church, I headed over to Circular Quay to get a reading done at the Argyle Oracle.

Much to my delight, the person available today was Judy, my former mentor at the Oracle. She puts me at ease and it was good to catch up with her as well. Many interesting things were revealed to me today. Some of which took me by surprise, others I have already discerned through my own meditations and readings. It looks like i'll have a pretty interesting few weeks ahead of me. If I don't ditch the Church soon, it will be in more ways than one!

After my session was over, I headed back home to relax and reflect on what had been told to me. A few short hours later, I was on a bus heading back into the city with 2 kids looking over my shoulder helping me with puzzles on Legend of Zelda game I was playing. They're pretty bright, and despite it all, I doubt I would have been able to get through some of those sections with ease. Go go primary school children. Today, I am humbled. Once I got into the city, I made a beeline straight towards the hobby and managed to win a Hecatomb game using an untested deck. Not a bad way to start.

A quick dinner with Alex, and a delivery of noodles later, i'm back at home changing my Blogger birthdate. It appears that I got the month/day numbers mixed up, causing me to be listed as a Leo instead. Thankfully, Robin pointed it out and it's all good now. Now i'm going to catch some Z's. It's been a long, interesting day.

I liked it.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Much ado about nothing

Some wierd, strange and decidedly odd person wrote a very strange, wierd and decidedly odd comment on my last post. Take a look. Darth Vader!? I think whoever it was is taking crazy pills, but that's just me. My clothes are finally dry now, although a lot of my room is still draped with them. I'll clean it up later. Or tomorrow. We'll see.

I had a pretty laidback day. So laidback in fact, that I can't rightly be bothered to write about anything of consequence. Not that i've been writing about anything important over the past few weeks. Just rambling on and on about a situation I put myself in, and now I can't seem to find my way out of. Which makes me it because I really do have problems? Or is it because this state of mental anguish is all i've known for so long that the prospect of getting better would mean that I have to cross unfamiliar territory? If that is the case, i'm worse off than I thought. Not only am I in pain, it would also mean that I like that pain. That can't possible be healthy, but it sure as hell is familiar. Comforting even. Safe. There's an element of certainty in my life. So the question is, do I sink or swim? Do I drown in my sorrow or make thrash about in an attempt to find solid ground? It's like trying to fight against gravity, it always wins in the end.

The answer is clear. Whether I find my salvation or not is irrelevant. Anywhere else is better than here.

I'll take my chances.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Slight discoloration

As I sit here and write, my head is turned to look upon the still wet articles of clothing I have draped across most nearby surfaces. Even placing them near the heater last night wasn't enough to dry most of them and while that isn't so bad in itself, my towel and several pieces of clothing, blanket included is covered with patches of grey. Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! Either now I can go around claiming that i'm trying to singlehandedly revive the long dead tie-and-dye movement of the early 90's, or simply wear my somewhat more colorful t-shirts underneath a jacket. I think i'll go with the former. Wearing 2 layers of clothing during the Australian summer is just plain silly.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Wet blanket

Ah what a day! Once again, I managed to fob off the Scientologists for another day. I can't keep it up though, I might have to go tomorrow. Oh well, if I go, I go. I finished cleaning up my room and it looks presentable now, despite the fact that absolutely no one will be coming to visit, except my sister and her husband (of which incidentally I mande dinner for tonight).

Thanks to cold weather, my laundry didn't dry at all, despite a 2 hour spin in the dryer. My horoscope mentioned that i'll be the life of the party today. Bullshit! All i've got now is quite literally a wet blanket. I'm going to freeze tonight. Joy!

Plush doll

There are cute Japanese dolls on display
At the market stalls
They’re lined up in rows
Little things of pink and blue and purple and black
You can never really tell what they were
(I personally think that the ones on display today look like some kind of bear)
Each doll shares the same set of eyes
You know the kind
Oversized, bright eyes
Happy eyes
(I personally thought they looked like they were on the verge of tears)
I pick one up then put it back down
And it starts to cry
One by one
They all cry
(But I just kept on walking)

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Greed before need

It's been a cold day. It rained pretty much during the entire duration of daylight we had in Sydney. The winds picked up, and along with the last of winter's chill made certain that anyone not wearing several layers of clothing would be chilled to the bone. It so happened that today was also the day for Malaysia Fest 2005, held in the wide open space of Tumbalong Park, Darling Harbour. Needless to say, the festival organizers weren't hoping for good weather. I liked it though. Nothing like an overcast day to put my own situation in perspective. The festival was alright. Given the situation, they did the best they could. Unfortunately, an offkey rendition of Edwin McCain's 'I'll Be' did it in for me. I saw some familiar faces, but I was looking for one in particular. Gayatri wasn't there. A part of me wanted desperately to see her. The rest of me...I don't know.

On the way back I picked up some groceries and cleaned up around the house, then got into WoW. I didn't get much done ingame, but at least I managed to quest a little with Ken. A talk with a fellow guild officer revealed the circumstances of a few important events in the guild. I am disappointed to learn that greed had motivated many people to leave. I suppose I can't blame them. Better gear does have some allure. Still I can't help but think that real life friendships can be strained by actions taken in a game. I should know, it's happened to me a few times. People say that the grass is greener on the other side. I call it false advertising.

I call it greed.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Graveyard shift.

I've got a splitting headache so i'll make this short. I might be able to get a job at a 24 hour adult store doing graveyard shifts. At this point, i'm willing to give it a go, so wish me luck, and lots of it.