Crystal Wings

Things change, time flies. And so do I.

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Location: Sydney, New South Wales, Australia

About me. Well, I COULD lie and make things interesting, or I COULD tell you the truth and let you decide, but i'd rather you just form your own opinions.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Memories

I slept on my beanbag last night. Since it has been rather cold here in Sydney, and i've got a low profile heater, the best way for me to stay warm was to sleep closer to the floor. I was surprised to discover how comfortable my beanbed was, and I intend to use it again tonight.

Upon waking up, I jumped into WoW (as I seem to be doing lately) and managed to complete a several quests. As time drew near for class, I got ready, grabbed a quick bite to eat and went into class. All was well until about halfway through my first class. It was then that a flood of old memories came back, unbidden and most certainly unwelcome. I struggled to concentrate at the lecture but to no avail. I don't know what triggers these seemingly random bouts of flashbacks and while they were memories of great times, I can derive no comfort from them. My mind still tries to relive the moments when things were going well, although I know deep down that the memories i'm recalling are just that..memories. As substantial as a shadow cast on the floor. What's done is done. Why can't I accept that? Why must I cling to feelings long gone? I keep telling myself that after all this time, the fact that I still feel the same way is proof of things that are meant to be, but only a fool would believe that. I am that fool. I put myself in that position. Now I have to find my way out, I have no choice.

After my first class, I wandered into Broadway to purchase a few things (for myself, and for my room). I turned up for the next class sporting a large K-Mart plastic bag containing all my purchases. By this time, I had felt better and managed to raise several important points during a group discussion as well as during lecture. Already I am regarded by my group as the leader. I shall strive to ensure that their faith is me is not misplaced. And in doing so I might find a small measure of faith in myself, for myself.

1 Comments:

Blogger Wynterfire said...

As with most people, you will always have the least faith in yourself. It's just the way it usually works. I hope that you do find a little more faith in yourself. It'll be good for you. :)

11:13 PM  

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