Crystal Wings

Things change, time flies. And so do I.

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Location: Sydney, New South Wales, Australia

About me. Well, I COULD lie and make things interesting, or I COULD tell you the truth and let you decide, but i'd rather you just form your own opinions.

Saturday, August 13, 2005


I slept on my beanbag last night. Since it has been rather cold here in Sydney, and i've got a low profile heater, the best way for me to stay warm was to sleep closer to the floor. I was surprised to discover how comfortable my beanbed was, and I intend to use it again tonight.

Upon waking up, I jumped into WoW (as I seem to be doing lately) and managed to complete a several quests. As time drew near for class, I got ready, grabbed a quick bite to eat and went into class. All was well until about halfway through my first class. It was then that a flood of old memories came back, unbidden and most certainly unwelcome. I struggled to concentrate at the lecture but to no avail. I don't know what triggers these seemingly random bouts of flashbacks and while they were memories of great times, I can derive no comfort from them. My mind still tries to relive the moments when things were going well, although I know deep down that the memories i'm recalling are just that..memories. As substantial as a shadow cast on the floor. What's done is done. Why can't I accept that? Why must I cling to feelings long gone? I keep telling myself that after all this time, the fact that I still feel the same way is proof of things that are meant to be, but only a fool would believe that. I am that fool. I put myself in that position. Now I have to find my way out, I have no choice.

After my first class, I wandered into Broadway to purchase a few things (for myself, and for my room). I turned up for the next class sporting a large K-Mart plastic bag containing all my purchases. By this time, I had felt better and managed to raise several important points during a group discussion as well as during lecture. Already I am regarded by my group as the leader. I shall strive to ensure that their faith is me is not misplaced. And in doing so I might find a small measure of faith in myself, for myself.


Blogger Wynterfire said...

As with most people, you will always have the least faith in yourself. It's just the way it usually works. I hope that you do find a little more faith in yourself. It'll be good for you. :)

11:13 PM  

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