Crystal Wings

Things change, time flies. And so do I.

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Location: Sydney, New South Wales, Australia

About me. Well, I COULD lie and make things interesting, or I COULD tell you the truth and let you decide, but i'd rather you just form your own opinions.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Presentation

I had stayed up all of last might to make sure that my presentation went well. It did, and now I deserve a break.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Make Squillions

Well today was a fairly interesting day. I got up bright and early, cleaned up my room, had a shower then waited for Tara (Moe's mum) to call me for another talk. Unfortunately, the line was very bad and we could only manage a short conversation. After the call ended, I rushed out to Central in order to meet Faye, the person whom I was supposed to hang around with for the morning. As it turns out, she was quite the talkative girl. We hung around for about 2 hours, and then she had to leave so I walked her back to Central station and watched her leave. I didn't give much thought to whether or not i'll see her again. I'll just have to wait and see.

I went home immediately after and played a little WoW before doing more research on my law presentation. In the case of Make Squillions v John, I believe that I have found sufficient precedent with which to acquit the defendant. Whether or not Jim will buy it or not is a different matter, and right now, I don't really care. In the evening, I called Alex out and went back to Tin Soldier (the hobby store), and managed to get responsibility for organizing a Hecatomb "Endbringer" league, which is just a fancy term for a tournament. To start with, I need people to know what its all about first. To that end, i've scheduled a demo with the store workers this Thursday, during games night. It should be fun...I hope.

After the quick store visit me and Alex had dinner at a nearby KFC and now i'm back finishing up my law. I'm considering going to sleep now, or pushing through instead of waking up early in the morning. I'll decide in a little bit.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Round 2

Another auditing session. It's only my second one and i'm annoyed with it already. Dianetic technique hinges on you quite literally living the past. The idea as that the more I confront the past, the less of a hold it has over me. Which is fair enough, until they make you verbally repeat each event 7-8 times until your voice is hoarse with your eyes closed until your auditor seems satisfied that you're well on your way to boredom. Not that I was getting bored, but sitting around with my eyes closed for 3 hours while I ramble isn't really my idea of 'getting things done'. I have 2 more sessions to go, with the next one being slated for Thursday. You can tell that i'm oozing enthusiasm about it.

After my rather contracted session I decided to hit a few nearby hobby stores to see what was interesting. I settled for a game called 'Hecatomb' which involved the end of the world. Sounds like a good enough reason to look into it if you ask me. After my session this Thursday i'll probably go back in there to play a few rounds. I suppose at this point, any activities that involve other people would do me a world of good.

Speaking of other people, I might actually be going out tomorrow with a person i've never met. Whoop dee doo.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Long day

It would seem that good rest wasn't in store for me yesterday night, and I spent it pretending I was asleep. I had hoped that eventually blessed sleep would take me, but no such luck. I managed to get through the day fairly well, all things considered. Although as I sit here and review it, my eyelids grow heavy and my body sinks into my seat. Maybe tonight will the night.

I cleaned the pile of dishes that was sitting in my kitchen sink for far too long and called a dear friend of mine, Suloshini to wish her happy birthday. I remember going through a lot of trouble trying to remember the date. As such her birthday remains one of the few that I remember. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I forget the birthdays of family members, much less friends. I should make it a point to make important dates in my calendar as soon as I get them.

Looking at the clock and judging by the way i'm feeling, I guess I should head to bed. I have another auditing session tomorrow, and they're supposedly more effective when i'm rested. Doesn't seem like an unreasonable assumption. I'll have to see.

Exhaustion

I had originally intended to write a long post, but as it stands i'm extremely tired and I need to rest. If I can.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Auditing

After an standard morning I found myself being led into the bowels of the Church of Scientology to begin my first Dianetics auditing session. No, not accounting auditing. I believe the Dianetics meaning of the word Auditing is derived from Greek, meaning 'to listen'. My auditor was a pleasant elderly lady who wasted no time in illustrating the principles of Dianetics to me, quickly drawing out a 'time track' of my life from conception to present time. After a short discussion, we got into the session proper. I was told to close my eyes, and go back to important instances in my life, describing it as I go along, over and over. The idea was that the negativity associated with those incidents would lose its hold over me, and stop affecting my life in ways I didn't know. In short, Dianetics tells me that i'm not a rag doll. I'm a puppet on a string. Interesting. Tears were shed over the session as I went be to revisit some of the more.....defining moments in my life and while I can't say for sure that it has improved my wellbeing just yet, it has made me realize why I act in certain situations the way I do. I'll have to see what else I can dig up as the sessions continue.

Later in the evening I met up with John and went to the Wine Banq to enjoy a musical performance. It was called Artspank and it was by far one of the best performances i've been to this year. Each act was unique, and extremely talented. The night started with a solo performance, moved onto soul, funk, classical, opera, tango, and even a little electronica thrown in for good measure. It was quite unlike anything I had experienced, and it makes me feel clumsy and untalented in the face of true musicians. It will not be an evening I will forget anytime soon. The best part is that Artspank will be held monthly. I owe it to myself to go. John had a few glasses of red wine, while I enjoyed 2 glasses of Wellington Iced Riesling dessert wine, and a good Mojito. We talked about nothing in particular, both of us intent on enjoying the amazing performance. Now that the night is over i'm back into my own skin, and it isn't all that bad.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Dawns Edge

Another day.
Another place.
A prison from which I need escape.

Another time.
Another crime.
Another price I have to pay.

Another turn.
Down one way street.
Will I ever find that which I seek?

Another sign.
That i've crossed the line.
Is there no one out there who will find me?

As dawns edge 'cross the sky.
I'm broken where I lie.
I need to run.
I need to find my way back home.

As dawns edge 'cross the sky.
Its here I fight your goodbyes.
I will not break.
I will not find my way alone.

Once more with feeling

I'm back. My lack of posts were intentional and i'm not going to contradict myself by writing about what had happened over the week. My situation has not really changed, although today I signed up for a 12 1/2 hour session with a Dianetics Auditor at the local Scientology Church to see if the technique really works. My Auditor has 12 1/2 hours. If I don't see an improvement by then I shall have to take other measures to 'clear' myself. I'll write more later. Tonight I want to be alone with my thoughts. As if I had plenty of company. Hah!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Ambivalence

I'm in two minds today. I've been in two minds every day. For the longest time. Some nights I sleep easy, other nights i'm racked with guilt. For what? What is wrong with me? What is holding me back? Why can't I break this vicious cycle? I'm better than this. I'm stronger than this. I hold the key. I know what has to be done. I've climbed mountains, fought against rivers. I am resourceful, I am intelligent, and I am complete. I also make mistakes. It's okay. To err is human. It's okay. Everyone makes mistakes. Nobody's perfect. Especially not me. If there's a way through this i'll find it. I have it in me. People believe in me. I won't let them down.

I won't let me down.

If there ever was a bottom this is it.

There's no place left to go except up.

Disgusted

As I sit here tonight, I am thoroughly disgusted at my lack of productivity today. Something MUST be done, and done NOW.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Network Marketing

Seeing as to how my posts are beginning to sound monotonous, i'm simply going to skip over the less remarkable bits like waking up and go straight for the more interesting aspects of my day.

After a quick lunch (a tasty rack of roasted lamb), I met up with Peter at Central Station to go to a company presentation. You see, Peter and I, along with several other people form a relationship marketing team dealing with health and wellness. The company we represent, Usana Health Sciences is second to none in many ways. I had joined the team several months back but thus far have been unable to properly contribute. Now that I have the time on my hands, I fully intend to throw myself into the business and make it work for me.

The presentation refreshed my memory as to what I was doing in the team, and why I joined up to begin with. Maybe with something to preoccupy my thoughts i'll be able to stop this downward spiral on. I certainly hope so. Bad times don't last forever, they're just good at making it feel that long. Damn the choices I made that put me here.

Party time

It is late, and the day has been long. I've spent a lot of it playing WoW except during the afternoon, when me and Maria met up to go ice skating. Unfortunately, the condition of the rink wasn't all that good, so we skipped it in favor of the market, and a career expo which was being held at the Hordern Pavillion. Once that was over, we took a bus into the city and parted ways. I went into K-Mart and bought a few things for my room including a steam iron and a coffee machine. I don't usually drink coffee, but I thought what the hell. It was going for half price. I can learn to appreciate coffee.

I had to call up Gayatri again today, to make sure she returns long overdue movies to Blockbuster. Given a choice I wouldn't have called at all. I think I just used the movies as an excuse. I don't know. I'm confused. I wish I could just leave things be. But I can't.

It was more WoW once I got home. This time with Raziz, Po San, Cheryl and Ken. It was good to fight alongside them once more. We formed a party and stormed the gates of the Scarlet Monastery, laying waste to anyone unfortunate enough to get in our way. I was angry. I wanted release. I still do.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Memories

I slept on my beanbag last night. Since it has been rather cold here in Sydney, and i've got a low profile heater, the best way for me to stay warm was to sleep closer to the floor. I was surprised to discover how comfortable my beanbed was, and I intend to use it again tonight.

Upon waking up, I jumped into WoW (as I seem to be doing lately) and managed to complete a several quests. As time drew near for class, I got ready, grabbed a quick bite to eat and went into class. All was well until about halfway through my first class. It was then that a flood of old memories came back, unbidden and most certainly unwelcome. I struggled to concentrate at the lecture but to no avail. I don't know what triggers these seemingly random bouts of flashbacks and while they were memories of great times, I can derive no comfort from them. My mind still tries to relive the moments when things were going well, although I know deep down that the memories i'm recalling are just that..memories. As substantial as a shadow cast on the floor. What's done is done. Why can't I accept that? Why must I cling to feelings long gone? I keep telling myself that after all this time, the fact that I still feel the same way is proof of things that are meant to be, but only a fool would believe that. I am that fool. I put myself in that position. Now I have to find my way out, I have no choice.

After my first class, I wandered into Broadway to purchase a few things (for myself, and for my room). I turned up for the next class sporting a large K-Mart plastic bag containing all my purchases. By this time, I had felt better and managed to raise several important points during a group discussion as well as during lecture. Already I am regarded by my group as the leader. I shall strive to ensure that their faith is me is not misplaced. And in doing so I might find a small measure of faith in myself, for myself.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

No such thing

Well there's nothing like misinterpreting something you thought you were supposed to do. It's like a punch to the gut. It turns out that the test I was going to take tomorrow was for LAST week. I guess i'll have to sit through the semester and do the subject again. All in all it's not so bad. I'm just annoyed that I read the e-mail wrong. I DEFINITELY need to get myself fixed. I didn't do much today. I slept in, played some WoW then cleaned up the room. The vacuum cleaner I used wasn't very good, so i'm probably going to shell out for my own. I don't feel like writing today, so i'll just leave it at that. There's no such thing as a second chance, only second tries.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Second chances

I was awoken today by the loud ringing of Yahoo Messenger. I had slept fairly well through the night, although I did go to bed at the early hour of about 2am. Once I got out of bed, I fixed myself some breakfast, spent my first few waking minutes eating and chatting. There wasn't too much time available for me to hang around so once that was done I showered, got dressed and headed off to lunch before entering my law class. Presentation questions were allocated today, and I managed to snag the one I wanted. It involves the circumvention of Contents Rights Management present on gaming consoles today through the use of modifications. With the date of my presentation set for the next few weeks, I have plenty of time to come up with something suitable.

After class was over, I meandered around for a little while and bought Conker: Live and Reloaded for the XBox. With the purchase in hand, I went into my Database tutorial to discover that if I pass a test being held on Friday, I will be able to pass the subject and skip it, allowing me to take another subject for the semester. I intend to sit for the exam, and hope to get rid of it once and for all. If I do get through it, I will have have to decide what subject to take in order to fill the gap.

Once tutorial ended, I headed straight back home and jumped into WoW for an instance run, managing to pick up some useful loot for my Hunter. Before starting the run I was forced to call someone I had resolved not to contact. We had a short coversation regarding the issue I needed to take care of, then left it at that. One of these days she might come for a visit....I have mixed feelings about it. I might go kickboxing over lunch tomorrow, but will probably spend the time studying for the exam. Wish me luck. I'll need it.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Level 60

Ah yet another one of my trademark do nothing days. I seem to be having a lot of those of late. I suppose something should be done about it. Last night was the first night in weeks that I had slept alone. It was refreshing! I don't remember my dream, but I do know it involved fighting a dragon. Or more accurately, fighting something that was possessing the dragon. Yes I know, it's standard fantasy fare. The dream did not really end, so I have no idea what happens.

After I woke up, I had breakfast and plunged into WoW, trying to bring my secondary character up to maximum level. I could have done it in my first sitting, but I decided to hit the gym again for a repeat kickboxing foundations class (the same one that started me). It was good practice. It turns out that Teusdays were particularly busy days, and the place was pretty packed. I went through the motions again, practiced all the moves and learned a few things I didn't pick up the first time around. My trial ends soon, so I have to make up my mind about what I intend to do at the gym soon.

After I returned home, I took a nice long shower, then plunged back into WoW. This time I managed to finish the job, and tame one of the best pets available (my newly lvl 60 character is a Troll Hunter). Once that was done, I sat down to play Killer7 while waiting for dinner to arrive. It took awhile to get here, but it was well worth it. I'm currently having lamb curry and rice, after which i'm going to get some sleep because tomorrow is going to be a long day. C'est la vie.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Too late

As I sit here writing this, i'm looking at the current state of my room. I'm extremely tired so i'll keep this one short. I didn't sleep a wink last night, because my sister was typing out an assignment ALL night. Me being a light sleeper, practically every keystroke kept me from sleeping. I stayed in bed until about 9am, then fixed myself breakfast and enjoyed a short jaunt into WoW. After that I did my laundry, went out for lunch, did some reading and moved my bed. Once my chores were over, I made for the gym to collect my belongings and stopped by for a short punchout session. I don't know if it was the lack of sleep that did me in, or general tiredness but I could not keep pounding for very long. On a side note, the set of handwraps I purchased go a long way in padding my knuckles and supporting my wrists. This time around, I managed to throw harder punches (which is probably why I tired so quickly) with less discomfort. All in all, the movements are starting to flow naturally, with my feet adjusting automatically as I throw different punches.

After about 45 minutes, I decided to call it quits for the day and headed to Broadway, where I had a burger and picked myself up a copy of Killer7, which after spending a little time playing is shaping up to be one of the wierdest, interesting games I have encountered in a long while. Once I put Killer7 down for the day, I proceeded to move the rest of my furniture. Now the room has a completely different layout and a better sense of space overall. I'm pleased with the results. My sister and brother in law dropped by to grab some of their things so there's even more space now. The only thing that remains is to move a small bedside table, and to reposition my bed. Other than that, it looks like the room is almost twice as big as it was before, and more open space is always good. I'd do it now, but my sister and company were a little loud taking their things, and my landlord has told me to finish up tomorrow. Considering the time, it's a fair proposal. I'm dead tired anyway.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

200 litres

Today I spent a bit of my time getting reacquainted with World of Warcraft. After I got on, I popped in for a spell to take a proper look around. Though I have been in on and off over the past few days, I decided to get things done this time around. Meeting up briefly with one of my best friends Ken, we stormed an enemy encampment and managed to kill our (or more specifically, my) objective. My connection became unstable soon after and I was forced to disconnect. Once I left, I helped my sister and my brother in law move the queen sized mattress I had given them from my place to theirs. It was no easy task folding a spring mattress in half so we could fit it through my door and down some very steep steps. With some rope and elbow grease, we managed to get it down without too much trouble, at which point my longboard doubled as a cart to wheel the mattress down the street. I'm quite pleased with the practical applications of my longboard, and enjoyed steering the mattress down to its new home.

Once that was settled, I made for city to catch Bewitched with Maria. The movie was fairly standard romantic comedy fare, and despite the fact that it was decidedly average, it had several entertaining moments. Once the movie was over, I walked Maria outside, then went back into the shopping center, headed for K-Mart. There, I picked up a foldable beanbag that doubles up as a lounge seat and a single bed. The beanbag helps to solve sleeping arrangement problems if I have a guest over, seeing as to how the mattress has been removed. It also helps take up some of the empty space I now have. Filling the bag up was no easy task as it would appear that the foam 'bean' packets I had bought were difficult to handle. As a result, I spent a few minutes (aided by my sister and her husband) rounding up stray beans that had fallen out during the loading process. It took an astounding 200 litres worth beans to fill the bag out comfortably, which apparently is the standard amount for most beanbags.

Tomorrow I intend to rearrange my furniture to make better use of the space I now have. At least I can go into the semester with a new room layout. It's a start.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Iaijutsu

It looks like i'm learning something new everyday. Today, the main experience on my plate was my Iaijutsu class. Unfortunately, my english meeting didn't fall through so I went straight from university to the gym. Having contacted the instructor earlier in the morning, I stuffed my bag and gloves into the gym locker, headed upstairs and sat through the final 15 minutes of a Karate lesson. I was surprised to watch that most of the kattas being practiced were similar (and in some cases, virtually identical) to the ones I had done years ago while I was taking Tae Kwon Do lessons.

The class today was a small one. Before we began, a short ceremony was performed to pay respect to the sensei, and the weapon. After that, things started to get tiring. The bokken, or wooden sword that I was given to handle was surprising hefty. I spent the first few minutes practicing my 'golf' grip, after which I was taught the basic guard stance. It was surprising to note that as opposed to unarmed martial arts where the stance is slanted at an angle to minimize the open target area, Iaijutsu stancework favored a stronger, offensive stance. Heavily emphasizing posture, I was taught to fully face my opponent, with most of my defence coming from the bokken itself. Once I had gotten over the stancework, I was taught several strikes, including head, neck, wrist and leg strikes. An hour later, I was practicing moving strikes while maintaining stability. Finally, I was taught to draw and sheathe the weapon in the proper manner (which turned out to be the hardest lesson to learn, as bokken are fairly long weapons). At the end, we performed the earlier ceremony in reverse and paid our respects to the weapon, sensei and the dojo. After a short discussion, I managed to sort out the administrative aspects of 'course'. It turns out that the first 2 classes I can take are free, after which I can continue and pay on a perclass basis, or as a monthly fee. I haven't yet decided what my plans regarding the subject will be, but I am very interested in proceeding.

Once everything was said and done, I went back downstairs only to discover that the gym had closed! Fortunately, all I had left in the locker was a change of clothes and my boxing gloves. Seeing as to how I can't go back until Monday because the gym will be closed tomorrow, i'll just have to wait it out then return later to collect my belongings. While i'm there I might as well practice. At least my things are kept safe, with the locker key, my phone and wallet with me. My copy of Dianetics is locked along with my clothes so it looks like i'll be reading Evil Genius over the weekend. Not a bad read.

Roll with it

Another day at Uni. Another morning of lethargy. I was pleasantly surprised (and somewhat disappointed) that I awoke from slumber relatively ache free. My toe no longer throbbed, and my fists weren't sore. It wasn't until my classes had started that the aches and pains came in full force. Even then, however, I was mentally prepared for more discomfort than I experienced. And so classes went on with aching shoulders and throbbing fists. I was pleased to share my earlier class (Managing E-Business Processes) with 2 of my friends from previous classes, Chris and Jeff. Both are hardworking, knowledgeable people I am fortunate to be grouped with. Given that it was the first week of classes, the subject ended an hour early. Coupled with the lack of tutorials for the week, it meant I had a 4 hour break between classes. Having nothing better to do, I headed back to the boxing gym to practice.

I practiced my footwork, threw more punches in succession, and added feints the routine. I'm beginning to enjoy the satisfying feel of a solid punch connecting with the bag, or with a forceful kick slamming into the side. Already my punches are slightly more refined, my feet adjusting to roll my body with every punch I throw. I also change stances to use more of my right, weaker hand. I need more practice to be able to use both hands with equal force and efficiency. My footwork needs a lot more work as well, perhaps even more so than my right hand. Still, i'm sure everything will fall into place with time and practice. Lots of both. Even if I never get good at it, i'm grateful to be able to vent my frustrations somewhat.

After an hour or so, I left the gym to spend some time in the nearby Kinokuniya. Unfortunately, both graphic novels I was looking for have not yet arrived. A short enquiry confirmed that it will still be a long wait before they arrive. Oh well, more time for me to save before making the purchases. They're worth the wait anyway.
Once that was settled, I grabbed a Subway and headed back for my next class, which also ended early. Now that i'm back home and sitting still, the workout today is starting to take its toll. I should get some rest if i'm going to wake up early and prepare for my english lesson proposal. And Iaijutsu.

Failing which I can always spend more time at the boxing gym. Come to think of it, I might just go anyway.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Sting like a bee.

For the most part, today has been a particularly lazy and uneventful day. I spent most of my time alternating between reading Evil Genius, and Dianetics. One taking me away from my life, the other forcing me back into it. I can't say which I need more at the moment, so I guess both can't hurt me. Assuming I know when I need either, that is. It wasn't until the evening until things got interesting.

To begin with, I had misread the gym timetable and missed the actual kickboxing session. On my way out, I missed a step on the staircase and had a bit of a tumble which nearly sprained my ankle. Luckily though, I remained unhurt and what I had missed was the advanced class.There was a basic class an hour later. On my way there, I also managed to call a korean student who was in need of an english tutor, and we intend to meet and plan the classes this Saturday. Upon arrival, I signed a liability form, paid for me trial classes and got changed for the class. I was given free locker hire, and a pair of gloves for the duration of the class. Once I was ready, I went upstairs to bring on the pain. As it turns out, the class was pretty good. For 45 minutes or so, we were taught stances and footwork, various punches (hooks, jabs, crosses and uppercuts) and both forward and roundhouse kicks. For the final 15 minutes, we practiced our punches and kicks on the punching bags. As a result from the class (and my earlier fall), I returned home with sore knuckles, aching wrists, a semi-busted ankle and a bruised baby toe. I can't wait to wake up and feel the rest of my body ache. Joy!

Though I was unable to find a place that taught Kendo nearby, there was a dojo that taught Japanese Swordsmanship just above the boxing gym. Talk about serendipity! I don't yet know the difference between Iaijutsu and Kendo, but I intend to find out. There's a class this Saturday and I hope to be able to make it. It should be interesting.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.

I started classes today. To be precise, I started my day with classes today. After a long, fitful night of sleep I finally awoke to realize that it was 12.30pm, and my first class of this semester was at 1. What a way to start my day. I showered, got ready and managed to arrive in class only 5 minutes late, a small victory in what would be a long battle. Wednesdays are particularly difficult days because both my classes are repeated ones. So I swallow my pride, grab my course documents and take a seat. It looks like my Law and the Digital Economy classes will be run in pretty much the same manner as it was a year ago, right down to the tutor. Jim Cooper is his name, and as far as i'm concerned, he's a walking talking law machine. He's a hardass, but the only reason I didn't get through last time was because I was plain lazy. I don't have the luxury of slacking this time around. The same goes for my Database Principles subject.

After returning home from the 7 hour repeat stint, I jumped on the Gamecube for a grand total of 12 minutes before it lost its appeal. The simple things that I used to take comfort and joy from no longer interest or excite me. So what now? I guess i'll have to find something else that will help me shake off this malaise. Tomorrow I start kickboxing classes. It might help. Kendo was my first choice, but in the end I couldn't find any places that teach it in the city. Besides, i'm fairly certain that kickboxing would be a better work out. I've managed to get myself a trial week at a gym in the city, and seeing as to how the kickboxing lessons are held during the days I don't have class, I will probably take it up seriously. At the very least it would give me a way to vent my frustrations. I didn't think violence and aggression would solve anything. In the next few weeks I might find myself eating my word.

In my case, I just hope it makes a difference.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Stress

As I write this, i'm alternating between talking to two of my dearest friends whilst i'm watching The Life Aquatic. I'm finding it hard to concentrate. I've been finding it difficult to concentrate for months now.

I don't feel well.
I don't feel sane.

Morganne left this morning. We travelled to the airport in silence for most of the way, myself in front, Morganne and Maria in the back. Before she left we talked about nothing in particular, said our goodbyes and Maria and I watched her leave. She's in New Zealand now.

I start classes tomorrow.

I don't want to think about it. Instead I turn my thoughts to my previous entry. Over things I neglected to mention. I don't see the words. I only see what's missing.
Things I tell myself I should remember. Things i'm already starting to forget. I can't write anymore. Not tonight.

I want to disappear.

Day One

I spent the better part of last night half-lying on a friend's bed at the Royal, watching movies on the screen of a laptop computer in the dark. Both movies were rather bleak, and I watched as a lonely painter slowly spiralled downwards into destruction before watching a young boy walk down a wooded path, desperately trying to recall the story of his family knowing full well that at any moment a bullet would take his life, and he that he would die to show those to around him that there was always a choice that could be made. That there was more to life than hardship, feuds and struggle for land. Things like wonder, joy, books and mermaids. I got home relatively early after that, climbed into bed and fell into dreamless sleep.

I didn't get out of bed until closer to noon as there was no reason to wake earlier. After finalizing my timetable, I had managed to lump all my classes into 2 days, Wednesday and Friday. I'm sure i'll regret the 6 hour no break sessions later, but for the time being it will have to do. After, I had a quiet lunch with my sister and proceeded to Max Brenner's for a drink. Not just any drink. I ordered the 'Hot Chocolate with Magic Crunchy Waffle Balls'. Magic Crunchy Waffle Balls. Despite the name, it was surprisingly good and I suspect that it won't be the last time I would have the drink. Finishing my drink and my book (an excellent title by the name of Smoke And Mirrors, by Neil Gaiman), I walked back up Oxford Street and eventually bought a Longboard to ease transportation as I go about my business.

Not too long after, I found myself sitting comfortably at The Basement with a copy of my next literary conquest, listening to a soul performance whilst sipping a bottle of Crown Lager. It is Morganne's last night, and Maria had arranged to go for the performance. Tomorrow morning, Morganne will be catching a flight to New Zealand, then after a brief stint she will be returning to Canada. I will miss her. After finishing the Lager I ordered a glass of Green Fairy Absinth, and watched in fascination as the barmaid dipped a small spoon of sugar into the drink and set it on fire, stirring the melting sugar into the green liquid. Briging it mixture back to my seat, I proposed a toast with my friends and knocked back the drink. The absinth burned my throat down to my gut and made me feel like I had swallowed bleach, and I loved it.

Now i'm rereading this post, while a documentary of the war against Saddam Hussein play in the backgroud. A part of me wishes that i've written this differently, but it is already written. Going back and rewriting this would not only be time consuming, it would also imply that I regret using the words I had chosen to describe my situation, that I wish my actions in the past was different. And we can't have regret lurking around now can we?